By Lesli Calloway
There are many facets to a woman’s psychology that may prove illusive for some. In an attempt to shed some light on the more prevalent points of interest, I’ve outlined nine specific aspects of a woman’s behavior to help create a better understanding of why women are the way they are, and why they do the things they do. This is by no means an all-inclusive roadmap to women. It is instead a reel of “highlights” to provide some insight into the inner workings of a woman.
He’s Just a Friend: Women love having male friends as confidants, comforters, and “cuddle buddies.” They serve every purpose a female friend would with the added bonus of providing a feeling of safety and security. One of the best things about having male friends is that they can be wonderful sounding boards for other relationships. A woman may feel uninhibited to show a man the various sides of her that might normally make her self-conscious or embarrassed. Male friends make women feel good about themselves, absent the consideration of ulterior motives. (see Exploring Male Behavior: Seven Traits)
Let’s Talk About Sex: A woman’s sex drive is based on her individual and unique physiology. Some women have highly elevated libidos, while others’ cycle periodically. There are so many biological and environmental factors that can affect a woman’s libido that it can be hard to single out any one culprit for a change in it. One thing is for sure, I believe every woman is born with a libido and a lack thereof may be entirely unbeknownst to her and just as frustrating for her. This all said, the tenor of a relationship can equally affect a woman’s interest in sex and intimacy. If she is unhappy in a relationship it can cause a drastic decrease in libido, equally so if she were feeling particularly good in a relationship, her sex drive could be profoundly elevated.
Mr. Romantic: A woman can truly appreciate a man who can maintain a certain degree of romance throughout a relationship. That’s not to say that passion doesn’t play its part, but a romantic gesture or two can greatly increase the degree of passion a woman feels for a man. So in romancing her you demonstrate your appreciation of her. Her response will reflect her appreciation of your effort. Now this generalization is geared toward serious, mature relationships as less evolved relationships may evoke varying responses. The offer of a romantic gesture should speak to the length and depth of the relationship. In a newer relationship flowers and cards would be appropriate. In a more established one, jewelry or a private getaway might be more suitable.
Mr. Right: A man who fosters a sense of stability, security and reliability is a man much desired. No matter how successful, independent or ambitious a woman may be, she still wants to feel as though her significant other can and will take care of her. Independent of a woman’s circumstance, she wants to be swept off of her feet. She wants to feel the assurance that she’s in an environment where she can let her guard down and be fragile and vulnerable. It’s important in a relationship that a woman has confidence in her counterpart’s ability to take the lead. The role each person plays in a relationship is dependant upon the manner in which the relationship was initiated. Now how those roles develop is greatly dependant upon how a man defines his role at the outset of the relationship and his ability to maintain a degree of consistency throughout it.
The Games People Play: Women who engage in gamesmanship are simply immature. This has less to do with age and more to do with her level of emotional and psychological development. Once you’ve spotted this type of behavior, don’t second guess yourself. Move away from it, discontinue the relationship, and keep it moving. Women who play games can damage much more than a man’s pride. So don’t become a party to the games, simply step away from it. Enough said.
The Key is Communication: Women are prone to over analysis, even in healthy relationships. Many situations become unnecessarily complicated due to a lack of effective communication. Women like to talk. That’s how most women express themselves. Some women are inclined to use body language as well, however for the most part, verbal communication skills are essential in keeping a healthy relationship “sane.” Consistency can play a large part in avoiding many unpleasant situations because it will provide her with a frame of reference she can trust and needn’t question. Your best bet in lessening the ill effects of a woman’s need to overanalyze is to ask her questions about how she feels and what she thinks. Finally, there may be some issues that are difficult for her to talk about. You should be aware of those too! The only way to be aware, however, is to ask. These kinds of verbal exchanges can diffuse problems in the present and future. Remember, patience is a virtue!
What’s with the Attitude?: A woman’s disposition can normally be traced back to her childhood, as is true for the rest of us. This is something you just can’t get around. The only person you can control is yourself. You cannot change a woman for better or worse or instill in her virtues or traits that she hadn’t already developed on her own. You have to take a person as you find them, not in light of how you wish to reinvent them. Respect, ownership of one’s responsibilities, honesty, faithfulness, intelligence and the like are all traits most of us would value in any relationship. However, you have to recognize that despite the package she’s wrapped in, her disposition is ALL her own.
Her First: Women never forget their first sexual partner. The premium on a woman’s virginity in the United States, as well as other parts of the world, creates an unfathomable amount of pressure in choosing not only when, but with whom she’ll share such a monumental moment. This hypocritical phenomenon is one of the reasons why losing her virginity holds such significance. In the end, the extent to which it matters is unique to each woman, as is her individual experience. The first time, may hold a degree of nostalgia full of romantic overtones. Yet, to others it isn’t held in such high esteem, for various reasons, and can quite possibly be considered altogether irrelevant. Regardless of the circumstances of a woman’s first sexual experience, it can leave an indelible imprint on her future sexual encounters. (This is where No. 6, asking questions, may come in handy.)
Tell the Truth: Women are consistently inconsistent – true or false? It’s true! Women are notorious for changing their minds. However, there is meaning to the seeming madness. Life is fluid and amorphous. The results of our decisions are true, but not definite. Women, the intuitive creatures that they are, are cognizant of this and will make adjustments accordingly. While men may interpret this as a lack of decisiveness, it’s really a reflection of how rapidly a woman can and will respond to changes in circumstances, disposition, demeanor and emotions. Never underestimate the significance and consequence of a woman’s prerogative to change her mind. The ability to accept this reality is much more valuable than any attempt to fully understand it.
Women are often referred to as an enigma of the human species. However, one must consider that the parts that make up the inner workings of a woman are often more susceptible to biological and hormonal factors than men. Yet, we all tend to better understand with age that while men are from Mars and women are from Venus, we share the same planet and can just as well share a common plane of understanding.
Journal of the Read Worthy 